Selena Gomez posted a birthday message for Orlando Bloom on Instagram, which means they are for sure dating now. That’s how Hollywood works, right?
Eh, maybe not, but it was a cute message.
The caption said,
Happy bday Orly -celebrate kindness and who you are.
(Note: I am a little miffed that when I called Orlando Bloom “Orly” when I was 13, no one speculatedwe were dating.)
There are also rumors going around of the pairgetting up close and personal with each other at that party, so perhaps this next big couple theory has some weight.
I would like to remind everyone Orly — while he will forever be the man who sparked my sexual awakening — is 39 years old, andSelena Gomez is 23.
But hey, that’s never stopped the men of Hollywood before, and who am I to deny afellow woman a shot at the hottest elf inMiddle-earth?
Selena deserves a break after all that drama with Justin Bieber, and I say Orly would make a smashing replacement.
Here’s my reasoning.
Orlyalready punchedJustin Bieber.
Remember when hegot in a fight with Biebs like two years ago? So, obviously he already has some beef against Selena’s ex, which definitely puts him on her side.
He’s hot, older and British.
I AM JUST SAYING none of these things hurt.
He’s way less active on social media than Justin.
I think we can all agree that is definitely a good thing.
You know heknows how to use his sword, if you know what I mean.
He knows how to rock that long, flowing hair.
So, you know he’d be down for a braiding session with Selena.
With the courtesyof Will Turner and the honor of Legolas, you know Bloomwouldtreat Selena right.
He’s friends with Johnny Depp.
Like he actually is, which is way cooler than Justin’s supposed squad.
Based on his relationship history, he definitely likes brunettes.
Plus, Selena’s friendlywith his ex, so maybe there’d be no drama.
You know, maybe.
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