So, women columnists who spew bile about other women have gone to war with a woman who posts selfies on social media. If these are their options, no wonder girls today are so miserable
I read in various newspapers last week that Kim Kardashian is the worst role model ever and got her comeuppance in Paris. Is this true?
Sally, by email
Yes, down with Kim! This was certainly the consensus among the commentariat, and by commentariat I mean specifically rightwing female columnists with terrifying byline photos. Now, as all readers of this column surely appreciate, anything that is written next to a terrifying photo byline of a female columnist is, by nature, the word of God. So it somewhat flummoxes me to question such words written by others. I fear this may be the columnist equivalent of crossing the streams, and yes, that is the second Ghostbusters reference in as many weeks, youre welcome.
As Im sure you all already know, last week Kim Kardashian was held at gunpoint and robbed of millions of pounds worth of jewellery while she pleaded for her life. What a horrible story, Im sure youre all thinking. Poor woman, youre doubtless saying. I hope shes OK, were all hoping. Or, perhaps, not.
How much do I hate Kim Kardashian? Let me count the ways, was one columnists response to this saga, kicking off her column there and continuing as it started.
I wonder, another columnist mused, if there was a fleeting moment, as she lay tied up on the bathroom floor, when a tiny voice inside her head asked the nagging, awful question: have I brought this on myself? Its really the way this particular journalist takes such palpable glee in imagining Kardashian bound and fearing for her life on the floor that explains why shes paid the big bucks, isnt it?
Sweetly, both of these writers make sure to include a hasty, token Of course, you wouldnt wish an armed robbery on anyone, but its hard to hear the authenticity of this statement over the shriekingly loud BUT implied at the end of that sentence.
Lets establish a few home truths here. Is Kim Kardashian a ridiculous person? No doubt. I have written about the aforementioned ridiculousness myself many a time. Is she a bad role model to young women? Yes, probably, if not quite as terrible as one columnist tried to make her, tying her, somewhat awkwardly, to the recent Guides survey about the numbers of young girls with low self-esteem. And here is where you should hear the loud BUT in this column.
No matter how ridiculous Kardashian is, there is no justification in gloating over her being tied up and terrorised in her hotel room. She is not Osama bin Laden. She is a young woman who has made an enormous amount of money by flogging herself to the public. A crime against humanity that is not. And if were talking bad female role models, if youre a high-profile female writer and you make a living by sneering at another woman being held at gunpoint, well, lets just say youre not exactly Gandhi yourself, are you? A woman posting selfies on social media versus women who spew bile in national newspapers about other women: if these are their options, no wonder girls today are so miserable.
And lets talk about the gender element here, shall we? Yes, Kardashian does show off her wealth on social media and, yes, it is absurd. You know who else does that? Many, many, many men. Kardashians husband, Kanye West, for one. That bloviating Oompa Loompa Donald Trump is another. All those saddos on Instagram who take photos of their car, or watch, or flash holidays. And while they might be laughed at, there isnt the same attitude that they shouldnt do it, that theyre overstepping a line, that theyre asking for something bad to happen to them, because people dont talk about men like that. They do, however, talk about women like that quite a lot. Women who are victims of revenge porn are told they shouldnt have sent naked photos of themselves; women who are raped are asked to prove they didnt dare to drink alcohol, or have sex at some point in their lives, or go out wearing anything other than a burlap sack. Kardashian, according to these columnists, brought her robbery on herself by photographing her jewellery. Im of the school of thought that, when a crime is committed, the only person responsible for it is the actual criminal. But maybe Im just old-fashioned.
Sticking with gender for a moment longer, its interesting that, in all the clucking over Kardashians personal life in these aforementioned columns, one aspect goes almost entirely unmentioned: that she is a mother. Personally, I dont subscribe to the bullcrap theory that motherhood should define a woman, but at least one of these columnists does. Indeed, I once had a debate about it with her when she was defending that whole Andrea Leadsom (who?) nonsense in the summer. Oh saintly motherhood, how it gives a woman profound empathy! Unless, it seems, if that woman is Kim Kardashian. Or, for that matter, certain columnists with children who seem quite fond of kicking a woman when shes down. What was that about motherhoods profound effect?
I honestly cant believe Ive just written a whole column defending Kim Kardashian on feminist grounds, a woman I believe to represent so much that is absurd about our age. And yet, it seems, needs must. Because thats the thing about feminism: even if you dont like the woman, youre genuinely fond of women, and you try to do right by them.
Post your questions to Hadley Freeman, Ask Hadley, The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU. Email ask.hadley@theguardian.com.
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